Jay, Jay, Jay...my office-mate's name is Jay. He's a sort of nerdy white guy who wears bow ties. My first name is Jillian, and my mother often calls me J (big point, she calls me J, not Jay). I know this guy Jared whose family also derives his nickname from the first letter of his first name; they call him Jay (yes, J-a-y). When I was in college I had a classmate named J Valdez. I don't know what his first name actually was, but at school he went by J, just the letter J.
So, before I even get to Jay Wilds, Jay (and J) is complicated. In verbal exchanges, no one seems to know if it's a letter or a name. My office-mate Jay tells me stories of being in school or checking in at hotels and telling someone, "My name is Jay," only to have the person reply, "And what does that stand for?"
And what does Jay stand for? (Besides Jillian, Jared, Justin, and a whole host of other J-names many 80s and 90s parents bestowed on their children.) What does Jay stand for? Who is Jay Wilds as a person?
Before I go much further and inevitably start spilling my opinions and judgements, I want to address the fact that Jay Wilds is a person, he is alive, and he is not incarcerated. Neither his freedom nor his memory rest on what we think of him. He has a life and a family and a job. He has created stability for himself. Strangers continuously discussing his life and passing judgement is probably not very pleasant or helpful for him.
However, Jay continues to involve himself in the case. He talked to Sarah for Serial (though he didn't want to be recorded), and he did his Intercept interview. Jay will certainly take the stand again when Adnan's new trial begins. And of course, there's the fact that Jay basically is the case. All the evidence against Adnan (like the phone records, some of Hae's diary entries, etc.) don't actually show anything until they are held up against Jay's story.
In this essay, I'm not interested in the niceties of Jay's testimony. I want to figure out who he is (or rather, who he was at age 19). His actions will come into it, as will his trustworthiness, but that's not the main point.
In my essay about Adnan, I discussed how we know some things about him through anecdotes, stories from friends, and context provided by Rabia and others. There are other things, though, (such as that Adnan smoked pot) that seem to have just appeared in the record. There's no backstory.
Pretty much everything we know about Jay is in that context. Someone just says it without anything to show when, why, or how. One of my most beloved parts of Serial is when Sarah is interviewing various friends about Jay and what they thought of him. We get a variety of disconnected observations: he used to dye his hair different colors, he was the one black kid who had a lip ring, he wore big gothic jeans and listened to Rage Against the Machine, he was like Dennis Rodman, he was different (and that made him a weirdo), parents may not like or approve of him, and (my favorite) he had a BMX belt buckle (and he had a belt buckle, who the hell has a belt buckle?)
And that's only half of it; there's a bunch of other stuff. Jay played soccer and lacrosse at school, and he was well-suited to the sports because he was tall and fast. However, he wasn't really a jock, and he didn't practice a lot. Jay always had a job, and his family depended on him. He worked at a discount store (Here's another term I'm not quite sure of...is it like Wal-Mart? Dollar Tree?) He worked at Southwest Video, an adult video store. At one point he may have worked at PetSmart. That seems to suit him, as is described as loving animals. He once had a frog that ate rats. He liked bikes, it seems both the BMX-type (hence the belt buckle?) and the motorcycle type (testimony from somewhere, sometime, includes Jay saying he learned to ride a motorcycle sometime in the 98/99 time frame).
And then there's the drug stuff. Some people describe Jay as a stoner-more of a quiet, goofy guy. It's well known that he sold pot. I really want to know more about that side of Jay's life-who did he get his stash from, and what's going on with that circle of people. I think that may shed more light on how Jay got certain information and why he navigates his relationships the way he does.
Some people say Jay was mean and intimidating. Others say that was just an act to look tough. There's one story (maybe from Chris?) that Jay tried to stab his friend because the friend had never been stabbed before and should know what it felt like. Was that part of the tough act? Had Jay been stabbed before? Who knows...
We know Jay liked shooting pool. There are several references to him hanging out at Champs, a sports bar. He spent time with various friends (male and female, and of many different ethnic backgrounds). He was friendly with his co-worker at the video store. He is described as extremely dedicated to his girlfriend Stephanie, yet he may have been cheating on her. And he may not have bought her a birthday present (or at least until Adnan reminded him).
Many people say Jay had a reputation for lying. With all the changes he made to the story during his police interviews, this seems proven true. However, in all the times Sarah spoke to Jay's friends and they reference Jay's untruthfulness, they never give examples of lies he told. There's a consensus, though, that the lies were small. Like about what he ate for breakfast or whether he went to Patapsco State Park (Sarah seems to have made up that statement). But there's no actual examples of his lies to prove the precedent.
There are so many seemingly random descriptions of Jay and what he did and what he was like. It's a bit like with Hae's personality-there's just too much to try to cram into one person. However, one thing is very different with my analysis of Jay. I relate to him.
The exact reasons I feel so alien from Adnan and Hae bring me closer to Jay. Now, I'm not a drug dealer, I don't have a bunch of odd jobs, I'm not African American, and I didn't play Varsity soccer. However, I know well what it's like to be different. And I know what it's like to try really hard to relate to people.
I'm a 20-something college graduate, and I have a good job as a data manager. I work in a professional, office-type setting. I'm average height, but small-boned, and I'm blonde. I have a lot of piercings. I'm vegan. Outside work I dance with the local ballet company. I blog. I'm an amateur graphic artist and a total gym rat. I like mysteries and the most depraved true crime stories. I'm obsessed with at-home facials. I wear men's cologne. I'm very quiet and don't have a lot of social connections, but I'm confident. I'm not what people expect, and it took me a long time to be ok with that.
When I was in high school and college, I tried different looks: short hair, longer hair, auburn hair, blonde hair, no makeup, yes makeup, denim shirts, band shirts, socks that didn't match...I think it was more because I couldn't decide what I thought looked good on me, but maybe it was a desperate attempt to fit in.
When I talked to different people, I wasn't really similar to anyone. I was a little sporty and a little fashionable and a little nerdy, so I wasn't completely compatible with any high school social group. I could sit quietly and uncomfortably with anyone and kind of fit in, but then someone would ask how many Lord of the Rings books I'd read or how often I got my nails done and I'd maybe exaggerate a little to try to give the "right" answer and end up feeling stupid and guilty. So eventually I stopped trying to have friends my age, threw myself into school, and spent a lot of time at home with my family.
I think at age 19, Jay Wilds was a bit of a combination of who I was in school and who I am as an adult. He was different and unexpected and unconventional, yet he wanted to...maybe not fit in exactly, but I think he wanted to be liked. Telling a tall tale could have made him seem interesting, or funny, or not too serious to his friends. I also see Jay as a bit of a front stoop philosopher. Sarah specifically calls Jay's testimony poetic in some cases, and I can totally see him telling a story and changing some things around to make it a better and more rounded fable. (His telling of the trip to the cliffs at Patapsco after Adnan supposedly killed Hae exemplifies this. Not that any of his story makes sense or is necessarily true, but he specifically included this scene because he could make it seem profound and emotional. And then later on, it's clear that this section is untrue because it matches no other evidence.)
Another thing I observe about Jay is a tendency toward "action/reaction" behavior. I think this is common in young people, especially young men. It's most often expressed in fights, but it can also come out in things as nice as gift-giving and as mean as revenge behavior. As Jay had a tough guy reputation and was involved in illegal activities, I think he had good reason to want to be independent and settle any disputes or debts as quickly as possible. This is demonstrated in things like Jay giving Adnan free weed in exchange for borrowing his car. It could also possibly explain why Jay would tell the police Adnan was guilty of Hae's murder; maybe Adnan made Jay angry and Jay made a move against him.
Then again, in opposition to this, I see Jay as a bit of a romantic. This goes along with the front stoop philosopher theory, and it might explain some of his behavior. Even though he may have been cheating on Stephanie, he still had a steady relationship with her. Jay may have seen the Romeo-and-Juliet-like quality of Hae and Adnan's relationship and thought he was providing the obvious conclusion when he implicated Adnan.
Jay's situation reminds me of another literature reference. I'm not sure what the story is called, or if it's even a real, publically released story because it was something I saw in a middle-school language arts workbook. The short story tells of a young man choosing his classes for the upcoming school year. He chooses to take French because a girl he likes is also taking French. When they start in French class, the guy decides to impress the girl by pretending he can already speak French, so he says a bunch of things in sort of French-like gibberish. The teacher overhears, but doesn't do anything because he understands the guy is just looking for attention and decides not to embarrass him.
I think this happens to Jay a lot-with his friends and with the police. He says something because he wants to be...I don't know. Cool? Knowledgeable? Tough? Important? And people just go along with it. They seem to know that's just what Jay does. However, when it comes to Jay's story about Adnan killing Hae, his friends don't know what to think. Though he was involved in selling drugs, Jay had a clean criminal record until he was arrested for disorderly conduct/resisting arrest when the cops were trying to bring him in for questioning in late February 1999 (and even this may have been an act). Jay's friends had always heard him fib about smaller things, so they didn't know what to think. Would he really lie about something this big?
One of the last things I want to bring up about Jay is that I think he was greedy. I don't think that's a character flaw; I'll happily accept any time someone else is willing to buy me lunch. However, I think it factors into the case. We hear in Jenn's police interviews that she doesn't think Jay would have helped Adnan unless Adnan had paid Jay a good sum of money. Let's dissect this statement. No help unless money = help, if money. She's implying that Jay would have helped Adnan bury Hae's body if he was offered money. Prosecutor Urick implies the same thing in his opening statements for both trials; he sets Jay up as some unintelligent street kid willing to do anything to earn a few dollars.
I don't think that's accurate at all, but I do think that when a reward was offered for information leading to an arrest, Jay may have been interested. If he had reasonable suspicion Adnan was guilty and/or had a reason to get back at Adnan, he may have thought, "What the heck, may as well call in the tip and just see what happens." And then...things just escalated from there.
And that's it, in a nutshell. This weird, different, tough, sweet, cool guy dug himself into a hole, and he's been stuck for 18 years. He answers all questions with an agenda: to protect himself, to keep the perception of him as cool and tough. Protective of his friends. Streetwise.
I don't think Jay's story is true. I also don't think he'll really come clean anytime soon. I think it would be more crippling to Jay to admit he lied about something big (maybe for a petty reason) than to keep doing what he's been doing since 1999. He might be a fibber and greedy involved in drugs, but if there's one thing he insists he's not, it's cruel. He can't admit that he threw his friend under the bus because publically, that's not Jay. Not who he is. But the consequence for keeping things quiet is that friend being in prison for almost two decades with no explanation. And really, when you get down to it, isn't that actually the most cruel thing of all?
I'm curious to see how Jay will handle Adnan's new trial. With all the time that's passed, his story can only get less accurate. All we really know is that Jay is still Jay...and Jay is still a mystery.
So, before I even get to Jay Wilds, Jay (and J) is complicated. In verbal exchanges, no one seems to know if it's a letter or a name. My office-mate Jay tells me stories of being in school or checking in at hotels and telling someone, "My name is Jay," only to have the person reply, "And what does that stand for?"
And what does Jay stand for? (Besides Jillian, Jared, Justin, and a whole host of other J-names many 80s and 90s parents bestowed on their children.) What does Jay stand for? Who is Jay Wilds as a person?
Before I go much further and inevitably start spilling my opinions and judgements, I want to address the fact that Jay Wilds is a person, he is alive, and he is not incarcerated. Neither his freedom nor his memory rest on what we think of him. He has a life and a family and a job. He has created stability for himself. Strangers continuously discussing his life and passing judgement is probably not very pleasant or helpful for him.
However, Jay continues to involve himself in the case. He talked to Sarah for Serial (though he didn't want to be recorded), and he did his Intercept interview. Jay will certainly take the stand again when Adnan's new trial begins. And of course, there's the fact that Jay basically is the case. All the evidence against Adnan (like the phone records, some of Hae's diary entries, etc.) don't actually show anything until they are held up against Jay's story.
In this essay, I'm not interested in the niceties of Jay's testimony. I want to figure out who he is (or rather, who he was at age 19). His actions will come into it, as will his trustworthiness, but that's not the main point.
In my essay about Adnan, I discussed how we know some things about him through anecdotes, stories from friends, and context provided by Rabia and others. There are other things, though, (such as that Adnan smoked pot) that seem to have just appeared in the record. There's no backstory.
Pretty much everything we know about Jay is in that context. Someone just says it without anything to show when, why, or how. One of my most beloved parts of Serial is when Sarah is interviewing various friends about Jay and what they thought of him. We get a variety of disconnected observations: he used to dye his hair different colors, he was the one black kid who had a lip ring, he wore big gothic jeans and listened to Rage Against the Machine, he was like Dennis Rodman, he was different (and that made him a weirdo), parents may not like or approve of him, and (my favorite) he had a BMX belt buckle (and he had a belt buckle, who the hell has a belt buckle?)
And that's only half of it; there's a bunch of other stuff. Jay played soccer and lacrosse at school, and he was well-suited to the sports because he was tall and fast. However, he wasn't really a jock, and he didn't practice a lot. Jay always had a job, and his family depended on him. He worked at a discount store (Here's another term I'm not quite sure of...is it like Wal-Mart? Dollar Tree?) He worked at Southwest Video, an adult video store. At one point he may have worked at PetSmart. That seems to suit him, as is described as loving animals. He once had a frog that ate rats. He liked bikes, it seems both the BMX-type (hence the belt buckle?) and the motorcycle type (testimony from somewhere, sometime, includes Jay saying he learned to ride a motorcycle sometime in the 98/99 time frame).
And then there's the drug stuff. Some people describe Jay as a stoner-more of a quiet, goofy guy. It's well known that he sold pot. I really want to know more about that side of Jay's life-who did he get his stash from, and what's going on with that circle of people. I think that may shed more light on how Jay got certain information and why he navigates his relationships the way he does.
Some people say Jay was mean and intimidating. Others say that was just an act to look tough. There's one story (maybe from Chris?) that Jay tried to stab his friend because the friend had never been stabbed before and should know what it felt like. Was that part of the tough act? Had Jay been stabbed before? Who knows...
We know Jay liked shooting pool. There are several references to him hanging out at Champs, a sports bar. He spent time with various friends (male and female, and of many different ethnic backgrounds). He was friendly with his co-worker at the video store. He is described as extremely dedicated to his girlfriend Stephanie, yet he may have been cheating on her. And he may not have bought her a birthday present (or at least until Adnan reminded him).
Many people say Jay had a reputation for lying. With all the changes he made to the story during his police interviews, this seems proven true. However, in all the times Sarah spoke to Jay's friends and they reference Jay's untruthfulness, they never give examples of lies he told. There's a consensus, though, that the lies were small. Like about what he ate for breakfast or whether he went to Patapsco State Park (Sarah seems to have made up that statement). But there's no actual examples of his lies to prove the precedent.
There are so many seemingly random descriptions of Jay and what he did and what he was like. It's a bit like with Hae's personality-there's just too much to try to cram into one person. However, one thing is very different with my analysis of Jay. I relate to him.
The exact reasons I feel so alien from Adnan and Hae bring me closer to Jay. Now, I'm not a drug dealer, I don't have a bunch of odd jobs, I'm not African American, and I didn't play Varsity soccer. However, I know well what it's like to be different. And I know what it's like to try really hard to relate to people.
I'm a 20-something college graduate, and I have a good job as a data manager. I work in a professional, office-type setting. I'm average height, but small-boned, and I'm blonde. I have a lot of piercings. I'm vegan. Outside work I dance with the local ballet company. I blog. I'm an amateur graphic artist and a total gym rat. I like mysteries and the most depraved true crime stories. I'm obsessed with at-home facials. I wear men's cologne. I'm very quiet and don't have a lot of social connections, but I'm confident. I'm not what people expect, and it took me a long time to be ok with that.
When I was in high school and college, I tried different looks: short hair, longer hair, auburn hair, blonde hair, no makeup, yes makeup, denim shirts, band shirts, socks that didn't match...I think it was more because I couldn't decide what I thought looked good on me, but maybe it was a desperate attempt to fit in.
When I talked to different people, I wasn't really similar to anyone. I was a little sporty and a little fashionable and a little nerdy, so I wasn't completely compatible with any high school social group. I could sit quietly and uncomfortably with anyone and kind of fit in, but then someone would ask how many Lord of the Rings books I'd read or how often I got my nails done and I'd maybe exaggerate a little to try to give the "right" answer and end up feeling stupid and guilty. So eventually I stopped trying to have friends my age, threw myself into school, and spent a lot of time at home with my family.
I think at age 19, Jay Wilds was a bit of a combination of who I was in school and who I am as an adult. He was different and unexpected and unconventional, yet he wanted to...maybe not fit in exactly, but I think he wanted to be liked. Telling a tall tale could have made him seem interesting, or funny, or not too serious to his friends. I also see Jay as a bit of a front stoop philosopher. Sarah specifically calls Jay's testimony poetic in some cases, and I can totally see him telling a story and changing some things around to make it a better and more rounded fable. (His telling of the trip to the cliffs at Patapsco after Adnan supposedly killed Hae exemplifies this. Not that any of his story makes sense or is necessarily true, but he specifically included this scene because he could make it seem profound and emotional. And then later on, it's clear that this section is untrue because it matches no other evidence.)
Another thing I observe about Jay is a tendency toward "action/reaction" behavior. I think this is common in young people, especially young men. It's most often expressed in fights, but it can also come out in things as nice as gift-giving and as mean as revenge behavior. As Jay had a tough guy reputation and was involved in illegal activities, I think he had good reason to want to be independent and settle any disputes or debts as quickly as possible. This is demonstrated in things like Jay giving Adnan free weed in exchange for borrowing his car. It could also possibly explain why Jay would tell the police Adnan was guilty of Hae's murder; maybe Adnan made Jay angry and Jay made a move against him.
Then again, in opposition to this, I see Jay as a bit of a romantic. This goes along with the front stoop philosopher theory, and it might explain some of his behavior. Even though he may have been cheating on Stephanie, he still had a steady relationship with her. Jay may have seen the Romeo-and-Juliet-like quality of Hae and Adnan's relationship and thought he was providing the obvious conclusion when he implicated Adnan.
Jay's situation reminds me of another literature reference. I'm not sure what the story is called, or if it's even a real, publically released story because it was something I saw in a middle-school language arts workbook. The short story tells of a young man choosing his classes for the upcoming school year. He chooses to take French because a girl he likes is also taking French. When they start in French class, the guy decides to impress the girl by pretending he can already speak French, so he says a bunch of things in sort of French-like gibberish. The teacher overhears, but doesn't do anything because he understands the guy is just looking for attention and decides not to embarrass him.
I think this happens to Jay a lot-with his friends and with the police. He says something because he wants to be...I don't know. Cool? Knowledgeable? Tough? Important? And people just go along with it. They seem to know that's just what Jay does. However, when it comes to Jay's story about Adnan killing Hae, his friends don't know what to think. Though he was involved in selling drugs, Jay had a clean criminal record until he was arrested for disorderly conduct/resisting arrest when the cops were trying to bring him in for questioning in late February 1999 (and even this may have been an act). Jay's friends had always heard him fib about smaller things, so they didn't know what to think. Would he really lie about something this big?
One of the last things I want to bring up about Jay is that I think he was greedy. I don't think that's a character flaw; I'll happily accept any time someone else is willing to buy me lunch. However, I think it factors into the case. We hear in Jenn's police interviews that she doesn't think Jay would have helped Adnan unless Adnan had paid Jay a good sum of money. Let's dissect this statement. No help unless money = help, if money. She's implying that Jay would have helped Adnan bury Hae's body if he was offered money. Prosecutor Urick implies the same thing in his opening statements for both trials; he sets Jay up as some unintelligent street kid willing to do anything to earn a few dollars.
I don't think that's accurate at all, but I do think that when a reward was offered for information leading to an arrest, Jay may have been interested. If he had reasonable suspicion Adnan was guilty and/or had a reason to get back at Adnan, he may have thought, "What the heck, may as well call in the tip and just see what happens." And then...things just escalated from there.
And that's it, in a nutshell. This weird, different, tough, sweet, cool guy dug himself into a hole, and he's been stuck for 18 years. He answers all questions with an agenda: to protect himself, to keep the perception of him as cool and tough. Protective of his friends. Streetwise.
I don't think Jay's story is true. I also don't think he'll really come clean anytime soon. I think it would be more crippling to Jay to admit he lied about something big (maybe for a petty reason) than to keep doing what he's been doing since 1999. He might be a fibber and greedy involved in drugs, but if there's one thing he insists he's not, it's cruel. He can't admit that he threw his friend under the bus because publically, that's not Jay. Not who he is. But the consequence for keeping things quiet is that friend being in prison for almost two decades with no explanation. And really, when you get down to it, isn't that actually the most cruel thing of all?
I'm curious to see how Jay will handle Adnan's new trial. With all the time that's passed, his story can only get less accurate. All we really know is that Jay is still Jay...and Jay is still a mystery.
